Hanging onto Daniel as they stumbled through the gate, not for the first time Jack was regretting his decision. Dozens of weapons aimed at them, he hefted the archaeologist against his side when he whimpered and started to slide to the ground.
“Come on, buddy, stay with me,” he begged, but it was useless. Daniel had already succumbed to the environment.
Damnit.
Tightening his grip, Jack looked to the crowd, hoping, though not expecting to find a little mercy, however his gaze un-expectantly ended up stumbling behind the wall of weapons and right into the Tydens’ eyes.
Oh, God…
Gut wrenching, Jack was taken aback as realization dawned on him with crushing clarity.
It had never occurred to him…
Supporting his trembling friend, the reason why Daniel never suggested returning to the planet before was staring Jack right in the face. And the reason was deafening as it screamed at him from the worn and haunted eyes of the villagers.
Aw, damnit, Daniel. he thought mournfully, hugging the man against him.
It was too much.
Daniel could feel each of their losses as if they were his own.
God.
And it was just too damn much.
… just. too. damn. much.
Stumbling forward when he was violently pushed from behind, Jack had to wrap both arms around his friend to keep them from ending up sprawled out on the ground. “Son of a…!” he gritted his teeth. “Take it easy!” he added, securing Daniel tighter against him. But Daniel remained oblivious. Leaning on Jack, head limp on his shoulder. The only thing keeping him up was his friend’s determination. He was so completely overwhelmed, he barely had the strength to breathe, let alone stand on his own.
Damnit, Daniel. What did you get yourself into this time? Jack internally hissed as they were ‘led’ to the others and he tried with all his might to fight his mounting worry- not wanting to give the younger man anything more to bear.
This had better work.
~~~~~~~~~~
/ “No.” Jack’s voice was raw, but clear.
Still clutching onto his friend, Daniel forced the truth out through a jaw clenched in pain. “It’s the only way, Jack.”
“Over my dead body, Daniel!” Looking up at Hammond, Jack protectively tightened the hold on his charge and cursed the man for bringing such news. After dozens of failed attempts to contact anyone on the Tydens’ planet and one disabled MALP later, they were informed that the Murantish wanted Daniel, or they would torture and slaughter all that remained. …starting with the, thankfully still alive, Carter. And Daniel, no doubt, would be taken along for the ride.
Son of a bitch!
“There’s got to be another way.”
“We’re looking into it, Jack, but they’re not giving us much time.” Hammond admitted solemnly as he felt the ticking of the clock press upon him.
/…and the greatest battle we’ve fought, or would ever fight…would be against it. /
“I’m not just delivering Daniel into enemy hands!”
“I didn’t ask you to, son. And I’m not ordering him to go. God knows I wouldn’t.”
“Jack…”
“NO, Daniel.” Jack immediately dismissed.
Pushing away enough to look his friend in the eyes, Daniel’s brow furrowed at what he saw. He knew what Jack was feeling. He could feel it coursing through his own body like a thick endless current.
…but he never expected to see it.
God, he’s never seen him so… exposed. So worn.
What have I done to you?
From the start he had been begging Jack to hold on, not even realizing that his friend could only do so for so long before Daniel would start pulling him down with him.
And there was no way he was going to let that happen.
Swallowing hard, tears swam to meet Daniel’s eyes as he came to realize what he had to do. To save Jack, Daniel would have to let go. And to save Sam, he was going to have convince Jack to do the same.
Struggling to find his voice, Daniel forced himself to continue so he could make sure what needed to be done, was done. “Jack…”
Shaking his head, Jack looked away from him. “No,” his voice thick and weighed down with the inevitable.
No.
A tear, chocked full of understanding broke free and slowly slid unnoticed behind Daniel’s ear. “Jack,” he tried again more forcefully, desperate to save his friends even if he couldn’t be.
Closing his own eyes, Jack’s response was but a guttural whisper this time. “No.”
“I’m going to die anyway,” Daniel cried in frustration, tugging at him with the last of his strength. He knew it. They both knew it.
Jack’s head whipped back around, eyes full of fury. “NO, you are not!”
“J’ck!”
“Daniel, I don’t want to hear it!” he snapped, his heart pounding fiercely as he continued to fight a battle he knew he had already lost.
“Please…” the archaeologist whimpered as he felt the beginnings of yet another ‘pull,’ “please. I can’t, I can’t go on like this.”
“Daniel…”
“Aah!” Crying out, Daniel convulsed, clenching his hands into the fabric of Jack’s shirt, causing to the colonel to wince at the pain he could not shoulder for him.
“J’ck…please,” he gasped, struggling for breath and the strength they both needed to let go. “At least this way it’ll mean something.” he wheezed.
“Don’t say that!” Jack admonished, his voice breaking under the truth he had been trying so hard to deny.
God, please don’t say that.
Shaking his head again, Jack had to look away.
He couldn’t believe…
He couldn’t believe what Daniel was asking him to do. He had been practically comatose for hours, only coming out of it long enough to beg Jack to hold on and now after all that has happened, after all they had been through together he was asking him to just let go.
/ “Daniel?” “Yeah.” “Did you want something?” “Yeah. Tell Jacob to stop.” /
Closing his eyes, Jack took a deep shaky breath as he tried to still the tremor that tore its way through his body, carrying a moment in time that would forever remain burned into his soul.
He knew what needed to be done. But he also had a promise to keep-- not only to Daniel, but to himself. He didn’t come this far, fight this hard to walk away. And neither did his friend.
If either of them were going anywhere, they were going together.
Looking back down, Jack winced at the pain that rippled across the younger man’s silently trembling features. And sweating profusely, Daniel struggled to keep his eyes open against the assault.
He struggled to keep his eyes open and on Jack.
/ And that’s when Jack realized that Daniel would be okay. Though he wasn’t exactly sure if he understood everything he had said…he realized that maybe, just maybe it didn’t matter.
…because Daniel trusted him to hold on…
…and Jack trusted him not to let go. /
All the way, Daniel. All the way.
Cupping Daniel’s cheek, Jack’s voice was thick with the belief he forced into it. “This isn’t over, you hear me?” he strained, staring him right in the eyes and praying his own didn’t betray him. “We’ll find a way to fix this, damnit! We’ll find a way.” He had sworn from the beginning that they would and by God they would!
Riding out the rest of the wave, Daniel studied his best friend, his chin trembling at his conviction. Though he knew Jack’s words were only as strong as the hope he clung to, Daniel nodded anyway, for even if they ran out of straws to clutch-- they still had each other. /
~~~~~~~~~
…but it wasn’t enough. Daniel was pulled away from him and thrown like a rag doll into the center, right beside…
Macintyre…
Damn.
Jack was torn between relief that it wasn’t Teal’c and fury that it was still a good man laying there. A good man that had died for no reason. A good man that he had sent.
Eyes squeezed shut against the invisible assaults on his body, Daniel groaned and blindly reached out for Jack, not even aware that he laid beside the corpse of a friend.
And wincing from the scene, Jack had to force himself to look away to search for the other half of his team. He found Carter about twenty feet on the other side of Daniel, hunched over and rigid as she rode off the worst of her torture. And not five feet to her left was Teal’c, who was in the middle of his own little circle of weapons that happened to be trained solely on him.
Attempting to shrug off his captors, Jack tried to keep his voice calm, despite his growing fear and annoyance. “Daniel, don’t move. I’m right here. Okay?”
“I c-n’t, please” the younger man whimpered, dropping his arms, but keeping them weakly reached out towards Jack’s voice. All that the Tydens had lost, all that they felt was pouring relentlessly through his body, colliding with that which had already taken up residency within him. And on top of that, her pain was shooting through him, spreading salt on open wounds as the embers raped her skin.
He couldn’t breathe, the pain, the sorrow, the anger even was swelling inside of him, tearing through his body like the sun through open blinds, eating away and swallowing what little of Doctor Daniel Jackson remained.
“I can’t.” he whimpered. “I cnt…”
~~~~~~~~~~
/ “Well you’d better!” Jack snapped.
Jacob regarded the colonel and briefly let his own frustration get the best of him. “I shouldn’t have to remind you that my daughter is also out there.”
Jack lowered his head into his hand and sighed. He knew that. He just…
God, Carter…Teal’c…
The Tok’ra’s eyes softened as he sighed himself. “We’re doing our best, Jack, but it’s a long shot,” he admitted softly. “It may not work.”
Jack looked back up with eyes that left little room for error. His entire family’s life rested on Jacob’s plan …and he guessed so did Jacob’s. “Well, it had better.” /
~~~~~~~~~~ They weren’t how she had remembered them.
Instead of sparkling with curiosity and passion, his eyes now looked to be dulled with layers and layers of raw despair.
No longer dancing expressively and gracefully through the air as she sat mesmerized, his hands were now cradled to the earth, trembling as they weakly reached to be held.
Her lips quivering, this was not the Daniel Jackson Kayna adored. Though this man wore his body, he lacked the most beautiful part of his soul—the part that made him who he was. The part that made him Daniel Jackson.
And with an excruciating sensation in her chest, the five-year-old girl realized way too young as she watched the merciless invaders callously stepped over Riley’s body and surround Daniel, that nothing was forever. Nothing was safe.
It all just goes away.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey! Son of a…” Jack lurched forward, but was pulled back before he made any real distance. “Keep your grimy hands off of him!” he warned, struggling and watching helplessly as two Murantish warriors approached his friend.
Pulling the archaeologist up by the collar of his jacket, one of the greasy leather heads asked him a question, but Daniel was so overwhelmed with all they had inflicted that he could do nothing more than shake his head. He couldn’t even understand them anymore. It was like his mind was literally being swathed in a cloud of pain-- blinding him and in the process the darkness devoured little by little everything he once knew and cherished.
An echo of gasps and sobs flittered through the crowd when he was backhanded so hard, his face bounced off the ashes that still lingered across the land from their first attack.
Screaming and cursing, Jack, Teal’c and even Sam--who was still hunched over, struggled to reach the now prone figure of their friend, but too many hands held them back. “You sons of bitches!” Jack cried. “Leave him alone!” Sam echoed, watching in horror as they started to kick him.
Daniel couldn’t even defend himself. He could do nothing more than grunt and moan as their feet pounded away at his body. So when he suddenly threw himself onto his back and started wailing as if he was being torn in half, everybody froze. Including those that had been trying so hard to break him.
Screaming over and over, he writhed on the ground before everyone.
His cries so loud…
…so loud, you could barely hear Sam’s over it, as the hot rod was pressed against her back again and again.
~~~~~~~~~~
/ So many times, he had lost count. Standing in front of the gate, supporting his wavering friend against him, Jack idly wondered if they had such things on record.
How many times did they go through the gate in the last seven years? Because he couldn’t help but think that it was all coming down to this.
He never thought he would be delivering his friend, his best friend that could barely stand, no less, into enemy hands. Daniel had been to death and back again more times than Jack cared to count in the last few days. And now he was practically delivering him to his end.
Everything in his body was screaming, telling him not to go through with it. It was insanity. It was irresponsible.
It was murder.
And he was actually about to turn around and call the whole damn thing off, when Daniel grabbed the arm that was wrapped around his waist and tilted his head up to whisper in Jack’s ear…
“Chevron Seven LOCKED!” boomed into the room as the blue horizon rippled promise across their features and Jack had to close his eyes against the ones his friend spoke.
“Colonel?”
For a good long moment Jack wordlessly looked the younger man in the eyes, searching for a truth one could not find in words, then slowly nodding, he turned to the General and managed to find his voice. “Sir?”
For a second Hammond relished in the thought of going with them. He was, after all, still a soldier. He may be bald with a hip that knows when it rains, but he was fit and he was ready. He should go through that gate and help get his people back-- damned the Murantish and their orders.
But he was also a leader. One that did not have the luxury to abandon his post every time the friend in him ached to do little more than wait.
So that’s what he would do. Wait. Wait and wish he were on the other side of the horizon were extraordinary men and women would be doing everything in their power to bring one man home.
“You have a go,” George replied softly with both envy and pride. “God speed…to the both of you.” /
~~~~~~~~~~
Now that they were finished taking their frustration out on Sam, they had turned their assault back to Daniel, who had long passed out from her pain…or worse.
“Stop! Parada!” The Jaffa’s pleas could easily be heard now that their agonizing cries had ceased. “He is of no use to you dead! Ele não é nenhum uso a você morto!”
Breathless, Jack continued to struggle against those who held him, as Sam fought to stay upright, their eyes both locked in horror on their still friend.
“Por favor!” Teal’c begged, probably for the first time in his life. “Por favor…Deixe-me ir a ele e procura fora o que você pede.”
Finally, the nauseating thudding sound that was made every time their feet impacted Daniel’s prone body ceased, as they looked to their chief-who after a moment dipped his head slightly with more arrogance anybody could think possible with such a simple gesture.
When the Jaffa was roughly released, he had his answer. He now was to learn what they sought, or be forced to watch his friends die.
Scrambling up and kneeling beside him, Teal’c carefully lifted his limp friend into his arms, as everybody stood by with bated breath. “DanielJackson.” he prodded gently, heart pounding fiercely as he cocooned the younger man in his embrace and willed him to answer.
…but he was given none.
“DanielJackson.” The Jaffa tried more forcefully, too terrified to check for a pulse.
/ “Yeah, Teal’c?” the archaeologist winced as he peered up at him.
“I have come to ask your forgiveness.”
Daniel furrowed his brow and gingerly sat up on the cot. “For what?”
Squaring his jaw, Teal’c looked straight ahead with a great sorrow in his eyes and when he spoke, it was in a voice heartbreakingly thick with regret. “For losing you.”
There was a suffocating silence as Daniel gaped incredulously at his friend. “I’m sorry?”
“I lost you on the dark side of the Land of the Light, DanielJackson and for that I must ask your forgiveness.”
“Teal’c! You didn’t lose me! I was taken. Besides, you got me back.”
Teal’c regarded the scholar and the bruises marring his face. “Perhaps, but not before you were substantially damaged.”
Daniel’s mouth dropped for nothing more than a second before he giggled…then winced. “Teal’c, you’re not responsible for me.”
But his statement was only granted an uncomfortable silence.
Studying the larger man closer, Daniel thought it looked as if he wanted to say something…like his eyes ached to confide in him. But instead, tears pushed aside whatever was about to be revealed as the troubled man nodded and turned to leave.
“Teal’c!” Daniel called after and was relieved when he stopped and turned to face him again. “Listen,” he started more gently, avoiding his eyes. “I trust you with my life, okay.” When he saw that he had the warrior’s attention, Daniel continued. “and I’m more than confident that if I should ever get… ‘lost’ again,” he finished, finally locking brown with blue. “you’ll find a way to bring me back home.”
Hesitating a moment as he weighed Daniel’s words, Teal’c slowly nodded and then turned to leave the room again with heavy shoulders and an even heavier heart. He could only wish he had the same amount of confidence the younger man held. /
Still listless and unresponsive, Daniel looked broken in the large man’s arms and as the grey sky cast an ominous hue upon his skin, Teal’c had to force the bile down that had suddenly risen to the back of his throat.
It looked as if he was already too late.
No.
With the rest of the world fading into the background and a tenderness unexpected of a Former First Prime, Teal’c took Daniel’s face in his hand and tilted it towards his own. Voice breaking into a whisper, lip trembling, he tried one last time.
“Daniel.”
~~~~~~~~~~
/ “I’m here.”
“You were gone.” The dejection in Jack’s soft voice was enough to tear any heart in half.
“I know. I’m sorry.” the former archaeologist soothed, kneeling beside his old friend. “There was something I had to do, but I’m back now and I swear I’ll stay with you until this is over.”
“It’ll never be over.”
Studying the weary man, eyes thick with compassion, Daniel’s confidence didn’t allow for hesitation. “Yes it will.” /
He never should have doubted him. Of course, maybe he really didn’t. Maybe the betrayal Jack felt was his own resignation. Dying everyday as a result of Ba’al’s torture can have that effect on you…even with an angel at your side.
Daniel didn’t let him down, even when hope did, so Jack wasn’t about to start doubting him now. Eyes glued on the two in the center, heart beating fiercely against his held breath, he willed his friend to show everyone what he already knew.
That he was one stubborn son of a bitch. ~~~~~~~~~~
Slowly opening his eyes for the first time since he returned to the planet, Daniel found himself looking into Teal’c’s.
The old warrior could have jumped for joy…but Jack beat him to it. “Yes!” the colonel hooted, causing the marauders to jump in surprise. But anything else the leader of SG-1 might have said, fell on deaf ears because all that existed again to Teal’c and Daniel were each other.
“It is good to see your “baby blues”, as O’Neill would say, DanielJackson.” The Jaffa whispered affectionately, earning a weak smile from the archaeologist.
“Teal’c?” Daniel asked hoarsely, clumsily bringing a hand up to grasp his shirt.
Gently wiping a tear from his friend’s cheek, Teal’c simply nodded. “It is I.”
Nodding back, Daniel’s eyes began to droop as he started to tremble in the Jaffa’s arms.
“DanielJackson, you must hold on.” Teal’c implored, even as the impatient weapons poking him in the back and shoulders went unnoticed. “I do not understand what they seek.”
Struggling to keep his eyes open, Daniel studied his friend. “So strong,” he unexpectedly whispered.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Teal’c was about to respond when he was struck in the side. Daniel cried out and the warrior was propelled forward from the force, but he managed to keep his hold on the archaeologist.
Whimpering as Teal’c’s pain reverberated through his body, growing exponentially as it awoken past assaults, Daniel clung to the larger man, staring him right in the eyes. “I wish I had your strength.” he choked out.
~~~~~~~~~~
/ “You already have more than most men your age.”
Jack dropped his hand from the patch of grey hair he was scrutinizing and turned his back to the mirror to scowl at his friend. “Where the hell do you think I get it?!” he snapped back.
Sitting on the locker room bench, tugging on his shoe, Daniel played ignorance. “I dunno. It appeared after you started going through the Stargate. Maybe Gate travel has some sort of ill-effect on aging that we haven’t discovered yet.”
Jack just gaped at him. And the real reason behind his untimely grey just nonchalantly pulled on his other shoe, not even bothering him with a glance.
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Jack finally spit out.
Standing up and reaching behind him to grab his jacket and slip it on, Daniel shook his head mournfully. “They say hearing is the first thing to go.”
“Why you little…”
“Then of course, there’s denial and even bitterness in some cases.” Daniel continued as he adjusted the collar. He didn’t get to finish, however, because he was bolting for the door the second Jack leapt over the bench between them.
“You should really take it easy on those knees!” Daniel had the nerve to shout over his shoulders as he grabbed the door handle and flung himself out into the hall, already calling for someone to hide behind. “Teeeal’c!!!” /
~~~~~~~~~~
Jack ducked his head and winced. He had seen it coming and yelled out a warning, but his friends didn’t react. They seemed to be locked in a world all their own.
And oddly…and maybe even selfishly, he wished he was the one in that world with Daniel. He had been hanging onto him for so long…it almost…no it did feel wrong not to be. And though he knew he was safe in Teal’c’s hands…would the oldest of their clan be able to bring Daniel back if he slipped too far?
Actually, to be honest…would he? Jack wasn’t so sure anymore. But at least Daniel was keeping up the fight on his own. Even without Jack to cling to. That was something…wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it?
Staring on from his powerless spot on the sidelines, the colonel couldn’t help but wonder if that was what he and Daniel had looked like the last few days. Though Jack couldn’t hear what Daniel and Teal’c were saying, the desperation in their body language alone was achingly familiar and witnessing it from the outside was enough to leave him breathless with inadequacy.
God…
How did Hammond and Janet bear it?
~~~~~~~~~~
He just couldn’t.
Every breath he had to force and it was like a thousand needles stabbing him in the chest. And every heartbeat sent pure fire shooting through his veins. Their agony was coursing through him with every beat of his life and it was picking up speed and friction as the black tendrils began pulling him under again.
And he knew it would be for the last time.
His grip was slipping and not even Jack would be able to save him now from falling into the abyss. He just couldn’t hold on any longer. His will demanded it, but his strength wouldn’t allow it.
He just couldn’t…
The universe was merciless. Daniel had learned this young, but now he was forced to experience it through countless bleeding hearts. No man could endure so much. Not even Daniel.
Biting his lips, Daniel shook and closed his eyes as another wave washed over him.
This was it.
Pulling, pulling.
Sinking, drowning
It wouldn’t be long now.
The darkness called to him and it wouldn’t be long now before he was completely devoured by it and something unrecognizable was spit out in his stead.
Pulling, pulling.
Sinking, drowning
It wouldn’t be…
“DanielJackson!”
Suddenly he was being lifted back to the surface. “DanielJackson!”
Slowly looking up into the eyes of a man he never thought he’d be able to call, friend, for the first time in a long, long time, Daniel was overcome with a sense of peace. “Its okay.” he whispered, already closing his eyes again.
“DanielJackson!”
“Tell J’k, s’kay.”
The Jaffa’s jaw tightened as he began to tremble himself. “I cannot.”
“Ple’se,” Daniel whispered hoarsely, his eyes half masked as he faded from the world that held onto him so tightly.
Tears pooled in Teal’c’s eyes, his jaw clenching now. “I cannot.” he repeated in a strained voice.
Daniel was finally able to open his eyes enough to look into Teal’c’s, only to find himself violently being torn from his grasp, but the Jaffa hung on. “DanielJackson!”
“jus’ let go…” he implored, trembling from the force of which both sides pulled at him.
Just let me fall…
Teal’c shook his head, his chin trembling as he attempted to draw the archaeologist closer to him, letting a single tear slide desolately down his cheek. “I am not strong enough.”
For a moment their eyes met, completely oblivious to the world that surrounded them, one look conveyed all that had never been said between them.
Friend to Friend.
Warrior to Warrior.
Brother to Brother.
“It’s okay, Teal’c.”
Closing his eyes, another tear broke free from the Jaffa’s marred soul…this time though, it carried absolution. But as he went to look back down at his friend with the greatest of admiration, pain exploded in his head and Daniel cried out with Sam.
Teal’c was vaguely aware of a flurry of activity and a deafening thunder, but it wasn’t until he got his bearings, that he found that the world had turned completely upside down and inside-out.
Swaying as he tried to keep himself upright, Teal’c looked on the scene before him in utter disbelief. “DanielJackson,” he whispered cautiously, not to startle the man.
Daniel was shaking so violently that he barely had the strength to remain on his knees, as the gun he held wavered back and forth…between him and Sam. “I have to make it stop!” he cried. “I have to make it stop…”
~~~~~~~~~~
Knees buckling, the only thing keeping Jack on his feet were the vice grips that still continued to hold him--despite their apprehension towards the “grande arma” in Daniel’s hands.
He thought it was over. He thought it was all finally over when Daniel grabbed Riley’s handgun and shot a couple of rounds off in the air, paralyzing everyone, including the Murantish.
But the brief surge of hope Jack had, quickly died out and was replaced with gut wrenching terror when Daniel pointed the gun towards Carter’s head…and then his own.
God…
“Daniel,” he choked. Tears flooding his eyes, as he fought to stay calm, “put the gun down.” his voice shook as he failed. “Jesus, Daniel, please.”
But his friend could no longer hear him…because Jack had finally lost him. ~~~~~~~~~~
Breaths quick and harsh, sweat poured down his trembling body. The familiar object felt heavy and wrong in his hands this day. But he had to make it stop. He could take the pain no longer. This was the only way…
The only way.
They cried and begged for him to put the gun down, but he could not hear them-- for the wave of suffering had finally swallowed him whole and as he tumbled in its embrace he was left deafened by its roar.
The Daniel Jackson he had tried so hard to hold onto had been stripped away and all that remained was a torturous flow of devastation that pumped through what used to be his heart.
It had to stop.
~~~~~~~~~~
Tears rolled unchecked down Carter’s face. “Not this way, Daniel. This isn’t your way,” she strained as she struggled to stay upright. But it was not her life she begged for; it was his.
When he pointed the gun at her, her heart stopped. …but when she watched helplessly as he then put it to his own head…it broke into a million pieces.
“God, Daniel,” she whispered brokenly. How did it get this far? How did it get this bad?
She hadn’t seen him this lost and out of control since he was addicted to the sarcophagus. It was his own pain that had threatened to destroy him then. Now it was the worlds. …now it was her's.
God…
They couldn’t lose him again. She would rather die than relive the agony.
“Please, Daniel,” she choked, when she realized that she could no longer see his light. “We can get through this together. Just put the gun down, okay.”
/ “Okay,” he quickly agreed with a shrug. “
Sam’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Are you serious?”
“Sure.” Daniel simply shrugged again.
“You are going to tell Colonel O’Neill for me that the mandatory Officer’s Banquet is now going to coincide with his fishing trip?” she double-checked, still not believing her ears.
“Yup,” he answered distractedly as he looked for something on his desk. “But,” he continued smugly, momentarily standing still with a finger in the air, “I’m not telling him he has to wear his Dress Blues.”
Sam’s mouth dropped open, her arms out as if she expected to be handed something. “But, but, but, why not?” she stammered, following him around the room as he cataloged artifacts. Dinner was originally supposed to be more casual, but that had changed along with the date.
“Why not?” The archaeologist clarified. “Because I’m running out of lives, that’s why.”
Sam dropped her arms. “Oh, please,” she cried incredulously. “Daniel, you’re the only one the colonel wouldn’t slaughter and you know it!”
Daniel furrowed his brow and crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring at her.
“Besides,” she continued timidly, looking down at Daniel’s desk and fingering the edging, “all you gotta do is make with the puppy dog eyes and pout that lip and he’s putty in your hands.”
“Sam.” Daniel’s tone was that of a disbeliever.
“Daniel, he can’t resist you when you use ‘The Face.’ trust me, I know!”
“Really?” Daniel raised his eyebrows now, looking intrigued.
“Oh please, like you haven’t been using it to manipulate us for nearly a decade.”
Busted.
“Uh…” Daniel tried to look as innocent as he dared.
“Ah! There it is!” Sam cried. “Stop that!”
“Stop wh…?”
“Daniel! I’m warning you! You owe me!”
Daniel dropped ‘defense’ and went straight to ‘offense’ mode like a flip of a switch. “How do you get that?” he squeaked.
The archaeologist was forced to back up when Sam started walking menacingly towards him. “Who didn’t tell the colonel about your little fib?”
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Daniel gulped.
“Ooh, you know, Daniel. Last month when he wanted you to go fishing, you suddenly had that last minute “seminar” you just had to attend.”
“So? I did.” The archaeologist cursed the squeak in his voice as he took yet another step back.
“Daniel when you said “seminar”, I don’t think a Special on the History channel is what the colonel had in mind when he let you off the hook.”
Sam heard Daniel gulp and smiled devilishly. “Who also has yet to tell the colonel how you rigged ‘Freecell’ on his computer so that he’d lose every time?”
“Hey!” Daniel squawked holding up a finger. “You helped!!”
Swallowing hard, Sam was not to be derailed in her goal. So crossing her arms in front of her chest, she continued without hesitation, her voice dangerously low, steady and accusing as she went in for the kill. “You called him “Jim” for three weeks after you descended.”
Daniel cleared his throat and tried to straighten his shoulders. “So? I had amnes…”
“After you remembered who he was.”
Back hitting the wall, Daniel threw his hands up admitting defeat. “Okay, okay, okay. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you, Daniel.” Sam smiled sweetly, all the wind blowing out of her storm as she gave him a peck on the cheek and walked out the door.
Staring dumbfounded after her, Daniel shook his head. “At least, when I ‘manipulate’ people, I look cute.”
Jumping, Daniel fought to steady the artifacts he knocked when, “I heard that!” was yelled from the corridor. /
~~~~~~~~~~
He was doing it for the both of them.
Leveling the trembling gun upon her, Daniel did not see Sam as his finger found the trigger…he saw pain, he saw fear…but he did not see Sam. Nor did he hear her as she begged one last time. “Please, Daniel, no...”
“I’m sorry.” he whispered, though he didn’t know why. He was doing it a favor. He was going to end its misery. He was going to end it for the both of them.
~~~~~~~~~
There are moments in your life where time literally stands still.
Where the world embraces you in its held breath.
Where you are blind, save what lies directly before you.
That moment is usually at the end of one path and the beginning of a crossroads.
That moment may be where you find the courage to make that choice.
That moment…may be where you realize you don’t have one.
God this is it.
This is it.
Eyes huge with helpless fury, Jack’s briefly met Carter’s as the world slowed and they both realized at the same time, this is it.
They knew Daniel would never pull the trigger, but they had come to realize as he slowly tilted the gun towards his own head again and tightened the grip, that the shattered remains of the man before them…would.
God, this was it…
/ “It doesn’t have to be.” Jack’s voice sounded so small all of the sudden.
Laying in the ICU, swathed in bandages, Daniel blinked slowly and looked up at his friend with an exhaustion that no man deserved to know. “Yes it does.” he croaked. “I’m not goi’n to let you risk lives jus’ to save mine.”
“Daniel,” The leader of the most elite team on the planet pleaded. “the sarcophagus can heal…”
“It’s out of our reach, J’ck.” he mumbled lethargically through swollen and blistered lips. “You jus’ won’t admit it.”
Jack could no longer hide the desperation in his voice. “Daniel…”
“No.” Who knew one word could end two men’s lives?
Shaking his head and biting his bottom lip, Jack looked as if he was going to hit something or cry…maybe even both. Even if they found a way, Daniel wouldn’t let them take it. Not if it meant putting lives on the line. Not even if it meant an end to his.
This was it.
His carelessness had killed his son and now his helplessness was going to force him to sit by and watch his best friend die a slow and agonizing death.
God…
“Jack...” Daniel had so much to say. There was so much he wanted to thank him for… and so very little precious time left to do it. He also wanted to apologize. Apologize for putting the pain in his eyes. Apologize for leaving him with an ache similar to the one Charlie had left in him.
Struggling to keep his grasp on the world long enough for hope to surface, Daniel studied his friend and searched for words that would ease his heart. When he found some, tears spilled forward along with memories and threatened to spill with the selfish wish that he was wrong, and that Jack’s reaction would be the same as his had been all those years ago.
Locking eyes with his best friend, Daniel forced confidence into his acidic words. “Someday you’ll find someone to fill that void for you…” he choked on a whimper. “that person just can’t be me.”
Later when Jack watched Daniel step through the event horizon and into another plane of existence …all he could think was… /
“Liar.” Jack whispered to himself as the nightmare dissipated and left him staring at another. Tears had finally broken free, sliding down his face and he closed his eyes angrily against them. They were admitting what a part of his heart still refused to.
“Damnit, Daniel! Put the fucking gun down!”
But he was given no acknowledgement. He was granted no hope.
And as the humming that seemingly started up out of nowhere began to increase in intensity, the desperation and powerlessness continued to pound away in the hearts of SG-1, and Jack wondered why.
Why was it, that when your life was about to change irrevocably…it slowed. Why was he forced to watch in slow motion, knowing that neither Carter nor even Teal’c would be able to make it to Daniel in time to save him? Why did he know, when Daniel placed the gun to his own head and started pulling the trigger that the arms that had been holding Jack so tight weren’t about to miraculously let go so he could at least try?
How did he know that this was it?
That after everything, it was going to end like this. That after all the battles they fought in the field and even at home over a bottle of whiskey, that this moment would be their last stand together.
And as Daniel’s finger slowly squeezed the trigger and their world erupted in flames… how could Jack have known…that he would be wrong?
/ “They sound like a fairly primitive race, Jack. If we can get there, it will work. They won’t know what hit them.” Jacob spoke confidently.
Jack raised his eyebrow cautiously. “If you can get there in time?”
Jacob sighed and scrubbed at his brow. “I already told you, Jack. Getting there will be the hard part. I’m not even sure we’ll even be able to find a ship within distance…but if we can, it will work.”
“Well it had better.” /
The ground shook and the sound was deafening.
…and it was music to their ears.
Tightening into a ball, Sam tried to shield herself from the panic that would no doubt follow. And though terrified, the Tydens knew enough to follow her lead, so they got down and sought shelter from one another while the Murantish-- who were no match for an Al’kesh on a mission, hastily abandoned their siege.
Thanking God for clichéd perfect timings, Jack finally shrugged off his captors, barely giving their fleeting forms a second glance as he ran towards his fallen friend.
Kneeling beside him, Jack stumbled back to his feet when Daniel cried out and folded into himself at his touch. “Daniel?” Jack called breathlessly, suddenly terrified to move.
/ “It’ll be alright, Jack.” Daniel whispered with more confidence than he had strength, as they were informed that the seventh chevron was locked. “You’ll bring me home.” /
Gun forgotten, Daniel lay curled on his side, whimpering and shaking uncontrollably. Jack thought he looked as if a single rain drop could shatter and wash away the pieces that remained of him.
God…
Daniel trusted him and this is what he gets.
Wincing and looking frantically around him as the Tydens slowly stood and continued to fill the air with their lullaby, Jack saw that he wasn’t the only one stopped in his tracks. Teal’c stood not five feet to his right and Carter remained on her knees in front of Daniel, but their faces all held the same expression.
Absolute gut-wrenching terrifying helplessness.
What could they possibly do to help him? All they had were words and touch. One they doubted would even be able to penetrate the hell that was literally encasing his life; the other they feared would only crumbled what remained. He looked completely inconsolable.
So nobody moved. Nobody spoke. All that could be heard were the Tydens’ echoes of sorrow, the sobs of a broken man and the tearing of hearts that could do nothing but stand by and watch the pieces fall.
Where do we go from here? Echoed throughout the hearts of powerless friends, as they executed a thousand false starts in their minds on how to comfort him.
The wind rushed by, dancing through hair and loose garments--no longer afraid to come out and play. Still everyone remained frozen, eyes locked on what lay before them. …everyone except one little girl.
She had seen the whole thing. She had witnessed the ugly face of desperation. She had watched as one she once trusted threatened to take the life of another. And she had lost more in the last few days than her soul could bear…
“Oh my God” Carter whispered with an echo of gasps, as two small dirty bare feet stepped out of the crowd and into the desolate circle.
Slowly walking up to the huddled man that had once stood so tall, Kayna let the tears she used to try so hard to create…slip effortlessly down her cheeks.
One after the other, her soul bled crystal drops of rain. Warm, just as she had thought, they burned her skin in their descent with the ache her heart had been harboring. The release felt so good, she craved more. She wanted to find a dark corner to drown alone in her sorrows. She wanted to cry and bleed until there was nothing left of her to hurt.
All she wanted to do was shed her newfound tears.
…but, there was something else she had learned from her Tau’ri friends.
Hope.
As she approached the sobbing man, the breeze stopped once again as the world held its breath. And leaning in ever so slowly, she eased her hand out through the fog.
/ Holding his breath, saying a silent prayer that never touched his lips, Riley waited for her to reach for it. /
Eyes bloodshot and swollen, body trembling, Daniel peeked out from the shelter of his arms and studied her offer.
/…and at last, from the shadows…she did. /
Slowly, so very slowly...a trembling hand to a steady one. “Deixe-nos achar o sol.” she whispered, grasping his lightly.
DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.