Denial: 101 "Silent Lucidity: Part Two" written by: Dragonfly
Part Two of 'Powers That Be' Tag
He knew he should get him inside. Carter and Teal’c would be arriving any minute, ready to start their night, only to find Daniel already out for it.
Still…Jack was having a hard time convincing his body to move. One reason may be because there was an unconscious one-hundred-and-eighty-pound archaeologist laying in his lap…another reason, may be because he just wasn’t ready to let go of him yet.
After Daniel asked him to just sit with him, they silently watched the stars they took upon themselves to protect and let their worst fears replay over and over again in their heads. When his friend started to tremble, whether from the cooling of the night, or the weight of his burden, Jack wordlessly wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed. He was only going to let it linger a second, but when the younger man un-expectantly leaned back into it with a strangle sigh, all thoughts of moving were thrown out the window. And Jack did what he had been doing since he was reassigned…he hung on with all he had and prayed what little he could offer now would be enough.
It wasn’t long before Daniel lost a battle he was too preoccupied to fight and fell asleep, his body lolling towards Jack. And with Jack’s mothering henning in full flap, it was merely seconds before Daniel was gently lowered into his older friend’s lap, one of Jack’s arms protectively draped over him to shield off anything that could threaten the rare moment of peace.
And Jack didn’t want it to end.
Sitting there on the patio…as long as Daniel’s dreams were merciful, there weren’t any demons to slay. Sitting there on the patio with his best friend in his arms, Jack didn’t have to worry where he was…if he was safe. He was spared the pain of the unknown-if only for a little while and he wanted it to last.
He *needed* it to last.
Though Daniel couldn’t bring himself to say the words, Jack could tell, when he looked in his eyes, what weight they would carry. They would be thick with despair and self-deprecation. They would drip with uncertainty and even anger. And they would leave Jack feeling even more inadequate than he already did.
He just needed a moment to pretend all was right in the world; that he wasn’t consoling a battle-weary friend. He was the unfortunate location one intoxicated archaeologist passed out on after *one* cup of Carter’s infamous Eggnog.
And he didn’t just fly across half the country to visit either, but merely drove a couple blocks.
Sighing, Jack leaned his head back against the house. *If only*
If only he wasn’t the farthest away when his kids needed him most…
“Sir?”
Jack looked up into Carter’s concerned eyes. The *soldier* in him should have heard her coming--tuned for any signs of threat, but he guessed the *friend* in him didn’t need to. And of course, Daniel was completely oblivious…as usual. Though Jack knew that if they were on a mission…*on a mission*. Looking back down at his friend, a jolt of regret passed through Jack’s body.
~~~~~~~~~
When Carter came upon her former C.O. cradling Daniel on the patio, her heart ceased in her chest. She had been out of reach all day and had *no* idea what was going on or what had happened. So when he didn’t answer her, but instead looked despondently down at their friend in his lap, her knees instantly lowered her.
“Sir?” she asked again, her voice shaken with worry as she reached a tentative hand towards the archaeologist.
“He’s…” Jack cleared the lump of inadequacy from his throat. “he’s just sleeping. Had a rough day.”
Sam’s hand froze and she looked quizzically towards the general, but all he could do was shake his head. He didn’t know what exactly happened either. Furrowing her brow and looking disappointed that he couldn’t elaborate, Carter turned her attention back to her younger friend and gently smoothed a stray hair from his forehead--then she found herself checking him for fever, despite Jack’s reassurances.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jack smiled despite himself at the sight of Carter slipping into mother henn mode. At least *some* things would never change. They would *always* take care of each other no matter how distant their paths strayed. *This* at least he could find some comfort in.
…but was it enough?
Teal’c arrived not moments later, also unnoticed until he made himself heard, and finally filled in the missing pieces.
A pregnant silence blanketed the “team” except for a few anxious questions and suggestions interspersed here and there. Daniel, thankfully, still slept peacefully, though Jack and Sam were no longer strangers to the desolation he carried. And Teal’c’s poorly hidden concern wasn’t helping them quell their own any.
“We have beaten false gods before.” Still the Jaffa valiantly tried to pull everyone onto the “Hope” wagon.
“Yeah” Jack whispered noncommittally as he looked down at his best friend, who still breathed deeply, undisturbed in his lap. They did managed to *finally* bring the goa’uld down, not to mention the Replicators…but it wasn’t without a price. In the nine years they fought, they had lost so much, so many lives. All unacceptable and irreplaceable. And some near impossible to live without.
And now after the cake was cut and champagne toasted…they learn that their hardest and greatest battle was just a warm up match to what was to come.
Jack closed his eyes and sighed the sigh of a weary man.
“We’ll beat them, sir.” Sam jumped on the wagon.
“I know, Carter.” Jack rasped opening his eyes, but keeping his gaze low. “but right now, I’m more concerned about how many of *us* they’ll beat in the process.” he finished, his eyes fixed worriedly on their slumbering friend.
DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.